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Home > Learning English > Business Writing
專(zhuān)家指出PS寫(xiě)作的通病

第一,字?jǐn)?shù)過(guò)長(zhǎng)。有的居然達(dá)到了1400字。PS應(yīng)該在800字左右,很多學(xué)校明確規(guī)定PS300500字,還有的學(xué)校要求是3500個(gè)字符之內(nèi)。因此,除非特別要求,大家千萬(wàn)不要把PS寫(xiě)得太長(zhǎng),否則你千辛萬(wàn)苦努力的結(jié)果就是人家看也不看,扔進(jìn)垃圾桶了。密歇根大學(xué)在其PS要求中提到,你要follow required format and word limits。(http://www.flytowest.com/ps/usps/mich.htm

第二,PS第一段,大家寫(xiě)作各有各的風(fēng)格,但普遍存在文不對(duì)題空喊口號(hào)的問(wèn)題。大家要把第一段寫(xiě)得獨(dú)特和吸引眼球(Make your opening statement and first paragraph to be eye-catching and unique)。有的同學(xué)是拿自己人生中一段非凡的經(jīng)歷開(kāi)始,不過(guò),這種經(jīng)歷肯定是要與專(zhuān)業(yè)有關(guān)的,否則就不要去寫(xiě)。有的同學(xué)以自己的家鄉(xiāng)或者院校出了名人去寫(xiě),就是離題太遠(yuǎn)了。有個(gè)同學(xué)寫(xiě)自己申請(qǐng)經(jīng)濟(jì),結(jié)果上來(lái)就談起了自己高中喜歡讀莎士比亞,喜歡問(wèn)問(wèn)題,然后突然轉(zhuǎn)到自己非常喜歡研究經(jīng)濟(jì)。大家應(yīng)該想想,這種思路是否讓人暈頭轉(zhuǎn)向。還有的直接就寫(xiě)想申請(qǐng)某某院校的某某專(zhuān)業(yè),然后就完了開(kāi)始第二段,這種開(kāi)頭完全就是廢話。有的同學(xué)反復(fù)照抄網(wǎng)上所謂的范文,一點(diǎn)新意也沒(méi)有,看下面這句。Forrest Gump’s mom said life was like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get. She’s right. On my 13th Birthday, besides a big chocolate cake, I also got a card

PS第一段應(yīng)該以言簡(jiǎn)意賅的語(yǔ)言精練地提出文章的亮點(diǎn)所在,開(kāi)頭不宜故弄玄虛,不宜寫(xiě)成抒情散文,應(yīng)該開(kāi)門(mén)見(jiàn)山。有的同學(xué)申請(qǐng)博士,還在第一段談起了初中的東西,并且語(yǔ)言非常不地道,翻譯痕跡非常重。比如這句However, my brave nature dominated and made me stand again to confront the unsuccessfulness.

另外,不要用第三人稱寫(xiě)。有的同學(xué)這樣寫(xiě):"Hey, it works!” the little boy was swamped with a sense of satisfaction the little boy, actually I, has been in love with the fascinating 個(gè)人陳述是寫(xiě)個(gè)人的,不要站在第三者角度,否則那就是推薦信了。

第三,下面談?wù)勚虚g部分。很多人寫(xiě)完第一段后,馬上就開(kāi)始這樣的句式,Born in … Province in China on August 22, 1980, after the National University Entrance Examination in 2000, I was accepted by XXX. Upon the acceptance, my major became … Here, I received strict training not only in … but also in … 大家一定記住,PS不要去重復(fù)其它留學(xué)文書(shū),比如推薦信和簡(jiǎn)歷中將要出現(xiàn)的內(nèi)容。不要都說(shuō),你以多少的成績(jī)考入了什么大學(xué),是什么專(zhuān)業(yè),然后開(kāi)始列舉出一堆獎(jiǎng)勵(lì)。我們看看康乃爾大學(xué)PS寫(xiě)作要求(http://www.flytowest.com/ps/usps/cornell.htm。A personal statement is generally most effective when it concentrates on:(應(yīng)該集中在以下幾點(diǎn)時(shí),PS才特別有說(shuō)服力,這些方面是:)an issue or experience that you feel strongly about, or one that has helped to shape who you are;a significant accomplishment or contribution you have made to your field or community. 你一定要去掉那些自我陶醉的、含糊不清的、過(guò)于抽象的東西,不要列舉你得到了什么獎(jiǎng)勵(lì)(avoid self-congratulatory statements, vague, abstract ideals, laundry lists of achievements, jargon and specialized vocabulary)。

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